December has felt so long
Finally met my therapist, she's cool. She's also hispanic which helps in some way.
I got terrified when my meds made me drowsy one day, and they made my dreams scary when I started them again.
Was sort of skipping them out of paranoia and didn't tell anyone.
I'm taking them again now.
Luckily, have not gained weight on them, but I feel like I am. I don't know.
In a better place, I just still fucking hate my brain.
I've also been feeling uglier, but I'm not ugly, so I won't say that I am. I just feel that way. I can't wait to start testosterone, to work, and drive.
I will exist outside of this house one day.
I wonder if my mother will ever move to LA and forget me, or just go crazy within religion and become the most distant and judgmental person I know. I wish I had a normal mom.
How crazy my father has changed so much that I worry I will only be able to depend on him when I'm older. He's old now, though. Now I have to worry about my dad dying early.
Anyway, I have an interview to be a dishwasher or janitor for Pluckers Wing Bar. Hiring crisis in America fucking sucks. I basically meet the criteria to work in restaurants, and no one will hire me. This will be my third set of interviews. I've done 3 interviews for the first two jobs I did interviews for. Hoping this job doesn't make me do another 3 interviews lol.
Going to test for my license soon.
Manifesting that Pluckers hires me. And I don't even manifest, but I'm really gonna try to this time.