Had a horrible emotional flashbacks last night after being okay for a little while and pausing taking my meds, all while Greyson was on the phone
I felt embarrassed and then exhausted. In the morning when I woke up, I just more exhausted and then embarrassed. My body feels sore from tensing up and I can still feel present nerves from how bad I was shaking.
Gonna watch "sorry, baby" because its about this girl who gets raped and deals with post traumatic stress. Maybe it won't make me feel so alone. I do have disorder its not just "post traumatic" and it makes me feel nauseous and like a creature.
I had a disgusting dream at that after I was finally able to fall asleep. I'm so tired. Just please everything needs to stop. I need someone to understand and help me out.
At 3, I have to go exchange my broken laptop for a new one, get greyson's gifts, and iron my clothes for my interview this Saturday and Monday.
This isn't the worst reality, I just feel present heart burn and like a little kid again, I feel like I'm parenting myself to get through this again. Fuck bro.
